Blind item: Horny cop who confessed to false police reports, suspended for 1 year

Written by Timothy Fitz

If you give a dishonest man enough rope, not only will he hang a few innocent people, he will eventually hang himself, too.

In 2001, when I was still living in Chicago's Uptown neighborhood, a Chicago police officer whose initials are N.M., approached me on the lakefront, near the Lakefront Trail and Wilson Avenue.

Although I can't remember the exact date we met, I do recall the weather was extremely warm that day. So, I'm guessing we met in July or August of that year.

When Officer M. pulled his squad car up to the bench where I was sitting, I was feeding the squirrels peanuts and thumbing through the pages of a book I had recently purchased at Barnes & Noble.

When I asked Officer M. if there was a problem, he commented on how toned my body was and flashed a smile... then he asked to see my ID.

At that moment, I recognized Officer M. as a weekend security guard from a gay bar in Boystown; so, I knew he was probably trying to get in my pants.

After scanning my ID with his beady, dark brown eyes, Officer M. popped a stick of Big Red chewing gum in his mouth and demanded a kiss.

Shocked and a little bit disgusted, I declined his advances.

However, determined to find a chink in my armor, Officer M. continuously flirted with me and kept telling me what a great catch he was.

"You should forget about these young boys and get yourself a mature man, like me," said the apparently horny cop. "I'm the kind of guy that sticks around for the long haul. Those young boys aren't going to be faithful to you."

At some point during his nearly 10-minute sales pitch, Officer M. starting babbling about his duties as a Chicago police officer.

Suddenly, my head shot up like a meerkat out of a desert hole. He had my full attention.

"Do you know what my greatest weapon is," asked Officer M. "It's my pen."

"Really", I said. "Please explain."

"You see this pen? I can take away anyone's freedom with the stroke of my pen and it doesn't matter if they are guilty or not," said Officer M. "I'm just that good!"

Unsure if he was trying to impress me or threaten me - I engaged Officer M. in another 10 minutes of small talk, gave him a fictitious phone number, told him to call me for a date, shook his hand and unceremoniously left the area.

Shortly after our encounter, I moved to another neighborhood and I never saw Officer M., again. But I have never forgotten our little conversation.

In fact, that night, for reasons unknown, I wrote down most of what he said to me on a sheet of notebook paper - which I kept for several years.

Last night, while I was doing some online research, I almost fell out of my chair when I discovered Officer M. was suspended from the Chicago Police Department for one year. His suspension ends toward the end of 2012.

According to court documents, the Chicago Police Board found M. guilty of disobedience of an order or directive, maltreatment of a citizen, and... filing a false police report.

In addition to these findings, I also unearthed a lawsuit alleging M. violated several citizens' civil rights.

You know... where there's smoke, there's usually fire. I think every conviction M. has been involved in, needs to be investigated.

But, hey! You didn't hear that from me.